"Unschooling" aunt hires 23-year-old niece to tutor her homeschooled 13 and 9-year-old children, doesn't like it when she's told that she's the problem: ‘She started crying, said she didn’t feel very supported, and hung up’

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    "AITA for calling my aunt neglectful because she doesn’t know why her son is behind in math?"

    This happened last year and I'm still on the fence about it. Names are fake. I (23F) was homeschooled in an online. program with real classes, teachers, etc, not your typical homeschool experience. My aunt Susan (51F) has three kids, this concerns her two youngest, Charlie (13M) and Leo (9M). She homeschools her kids. Very freeform, chooses her own curriculum, no standardized testing or real oversight. She complains a lot about how much work it is and how stressful and tiring it is. Sometimes th
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    Charlie is behind in math to the point he still doesn't know his times tables and even adding and subtracting is slow for him. It frustrates him a lot. On my mom's last call with Susan (on speakerphone) I offered to tutor Charlie to get him up to grade with math because he's interested in going to irl high school. Susan laughed it off and said "I don't know that he struggles with it, I think he's just behind, but I don't know".
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    My mom and I were a little shocked. Susan then said she'd pulled him out of a more structured homeschool program in the past because she didn't like having to come up with work samples every quarter. I said that wasn't unreasonable and suggested that a more structured program would be better for him if he wants to go into irl high school. Eventually after a lot of back and forth where she implied my mom picked my program because she was uninvolved while she (Susan) wants to be an involved parent
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    The next day I sent a text apologizing for my tone but made it clear that I think she needs to put him in a different program if she's not able to handle giving him homework and doesn't know why he's behind. I told her that I love her but I love him more and at this point this borders on neglect. And that she needs to let other people help her because she's harming them and risking her own health by trying to handle everything herself.
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    She never responded. Later I heard from my grandma that Susan doesn't want to speak to me or my mom, see us, or have us hear about her life, basically that she's cut us off from her and the kids. My grandma said I shouldn't have said anything because Susan was hurt that "a child" critiqued her parenting. AITA for what I said and for pushing the issue?
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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a h le: 1. I told my aunt that not knowing why her homeschooled kid is way behind in math is bordering on neglect, and that she should put him in a different school program if she can't handle the responsibility. 2) I might be the a hole because I made her cry and might've overstepped since I'm her niece and maybe it wasn't my place to say anything.
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    Wasting AnotherHour ⚫ 7h ago . She's the type of parent that gives homeschooling a bad reputation. Her poor kids, especially Charlie as it currently stands, are the kind that end up filling the homeschool recovery sub. You probably could have found a better way to say it, but the message needed to be conveyed so I'll go NTA. Unfortunately, the way you presented it means that she's shut herself off from the people most in a position to help intervene on her son's behalf.
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    MarionberryPlus8474 .7h ago NTA. IMO what your aunt is doing is a form of neglect. She is clearly incapable of home schooling her kids. I know parents who have home schooled and to do it right takes a LOT of work. It's not something you fit around working from home, depres on, or watching cat videos. Your average parent might have a subject or two they like and or/ are competent to teach, tops, without a curriculum and a lot of work.
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    Many states have standards and requirements in order to home school (and sadly many don't). If you feel strongly about this see what the state regulations are where you live and see if the kids can get real schooling.
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    Wonderful_Two_6710 7h ago NTA. She is failing in one of her fundamental duties as a parent: preparing her children for the real world.
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    LongjumpingSnow6986 · 7h ago . Nta. She's mad because you're young and right and this started with you offering to help in an age-appropriate way. Embarrassing that the other adults in this situation won't intervene
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    LanaKissesYou 6h ago NTA. Your aunt is scared that someone got higher intellect than hers. She's afraid that her kids will be more knowledgeable than her. Clearly, she neglect the right education for her kids. If she's giving it right, her kid won't be behind or won't be having a hard time,

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